The Daily Fuss

Latte Batte

I weaned Leighton from her bedtime baba in one protest-filled evening last August,  in much the same way I recently helped her break  her pacifier habit. 

She's been able to drink from a straw since eight months. This little trick came in handy when I forgot to pack an extra bottle or was out and about for a longer stretch than anticipated. And so, we replaced the bedtime baba with warm milk in a straw cup to be consumed prior to brushing teeth and heading up to bed.

This beverage started as straight whole milk, but somewhere along the line, we began adding a splash of Very Vanilla Silk to add some interest. On the rare occasion we were out of Silk, I substituted with hazelnut coffee creamer. It's nuts, I know. This sophisticated version of the nighttime baba was Leighton's evening latte - or batte (bah-tay) as it came to be called.

To add to the ceremoniousness of the whole thing, I would make a cup of hazelnut decaf for myself half hazelnut creamerand Lei and I would sit on two bottom stairs and drink our latte/batte while recounting the events of the day. Both Lei and I looked forward to our latte/batte ritual.

Notice I said "looked" as in past tense. There's a reason. Let me explain.

Leading up to the potty training fiasco, Leighton and I discussed the difference between "Big Girls" and babies and listed many of the activities in which a big girl may or may not engage.

A big girl articulates her needs using her words. Babies cry and babble.

A big girl dresses and feeds herself. Babies need lots of help doing both.

A big girl drinks from a cup. Babas are for babies.

A big girl sleeps in a bed. Preferably her own. Babies sleep in cribs.

A big girl doesn't need a nukka. Pacifiers are strictly for babies with no teeth.

Most obviously to suit the purpose at hand, a big girl wears underpants. Babies wear diapers.

Come on Leighton, you're a big sister now. It's time to start acting like one.

Leighton communicates better than some adults. She dresses herself and buckles her shoes. She feeds herself and drinks from a cup. She moved from a crib to a toddler bed without flinching and although it was painful at first, and she's likely holding a bit of a grudge, she lets her sister sleep in her old crib without a fuss. 

Lei reluctantly ditched her baba but made the best of the batte substitution. By the time she was forced to forfeit her nukka, the big girl sacrifices and big-sister talk began to seriously piss her off. Once we added the underpants pressure, Lei reached her breaking point.

All of this "big girl" talk intesified the difference between baby Lei and big girl Lei and the way she sees herself. The flat out refusal to potty train is my toddler taking a temporary stand on that issue and putting the breaks on growing up. However, she added a few big girl objectives of her own and met them at once with nothing more than self-imposed restriction.

Leighton stopped asking to be carried up and down stairs. She quit asking for her silky ribbon blankets (we have at least fifteen that my mom made) in bed, in the car and even at nap time. And, perhaps to punish me by depriving me of one of my favorite Leighton/mom rituals, she just gave up the batte. Bummer for mama.

I'm still hoping she changes her mind.

Turning Two Part II: Baby Pants

This is the face of a child who just decided that she is NOT going to use the potty and is telling me all about it. I took a series of these shots - some of her stomping, some with her lying on the floor like a noodle and some of her spitting in her tent to get her point across.

I'm sure she'll find it as amusing as I do ... someday.

Leighton has used the potty periodically since the age of one - mostly upon waking and before going to bed. She would lean toward obstinate when we would discuss wearing big girl pants full-time, so we backed off when it seemed we pushed too much.

In the days leading up to her second birthday, we talked about how we'd wake up on that birthday, say goodbye to diapers and wear fabulous underpants forever more.

"Deal," she said.

Lei's actual birthday was the tuesday after her big party. I was exhausted and it was the second day of the week-long spring break that nearly killed me. I had two kids by myself, all day, every day, for the first time.

Sidebar: Some people are cut out for this job and are just fine, all by themselves, with multiple kids. However, I have a two year-old that has had constant stimulation, nannies, school, grandmas, grandpas, cousins, aunties and the like, so that Ryan and I would have a fresh bundle of attention to bestow upon her when we finished our work days. Leighton is super fun, but she's also the proverbial handful.

Sidebar 2: Leighton is obsessed with babies and likewise, her sister. She wants to hold her, carry her, rock her, squeeze her cheeks, cover her face with blankets and pull her upright by her limbs. You can't leave the two alone for a minute or two - even to pee.

Sidebar 3: If I have yet to earn your sympathy, please let me remind you of my exhausting party prep for sunday and the acute sinus infection I was suffering from.

Despite the foregoing, I learned never to change things up on my child at the last second. I was determined to proceed with potty training. Fresh from the dryer, we pulled out twelve pairs of training pants (the cute Hannahs with patterns on them), several pair of Babylegs and a waterproof FuzziBunz cloth for nap time.

We talked about who wears diapers and who doesn't and how equally empowering and comfy it is to be diaper-free. The first potty of the day was a success, as usual. It happened on the big potty upstairs on the little seat that nests inside of the bigger seat. Easy peasy.

For the rest of the day, we set up camp (literally - there was a tent involved) in the family room with our Fisher Price singing potty and Baby Bjorn Little Potty for backup. I mentally noted that I would ask Lei to try the potty after 25 minutes or so and go from there. The very first time I asked if she had to go, she told me she neither wanted to use the potty nor would she use it today. Then she shot me a look as if to say, please don't make me try this or I will punish you.

When I reminded her of the deal we'd made and the birthday and underpants and babylegs and empowerment of the whole situation, she looked me dead in the face and said, "Tomorrow. I'll go on the potty tomorrow."

I stood firm. And, she sat firm. She sat on the potty on and off for three and a half hours without peeing. She can hold it like no one I've ever met. When she did get up, she walked around with her legs half-crossed, in obvious discomfort.

I didn't know how else to get the ball rolling, so I did what I always do with her when locked in a desperate parent-child power struggle. I cry.

I told her, "Mama really wants you to be a comfortable, happy and independent little girl. And, it makes me sad that you won't do it because you're mad at me."

She cupped my right cheek with her little hand, cocked her head to the side, furrowed her brown and said "Don't cry, Mama. It's going to be okay." And then her potty sang and sang and sang.

Unfortunately, that's the last time I heard that tune. She intentionally peed her pants for the rest of the day. The day before, my mom put her in the corner for ten seconds until she apologized for being too rough with Little Sis. She very quickly claimed the power of that corner because every time she peed, she'd watch it run down her leg to the carpet, say "Sorry Mama" and go stand in the corner, as if to say, I don't much care for your rules or requests. Rather than honor them, I prefer to stand in the corner or throw a tantrum.

At one point, I was so frustrated, I told her, "I don't care if you wear baby pants for the rest of your life. You can go to college in them and get married in them for all I care."  The ridiculum I can spew forth when frustrated by a toddler is amazing.

I taped a giant size 5 on her little butt and threw in the towel. I put the potties on the other side of the baby gate so she could see them, but made it clear that they were off limits. At that moment, I decided that I would make her beg to use the potty before school let out for the summer.

She wondered a few times that day "Where is the potty? Can I use the big potty." Even for the few days after, I turned her down. I reminded her that it's an all-or-nothing decision at this point. I told her, "I'm sure you'll let me know when you're ready. Deal?"

We shook on it. "Deal," she agreed.

What the Fuss? Wonder Unders

Since we're tackling potty training, I figure it's an appropriate time to share our favorite training pants for wee ones. We've been using Hanna Andersson Training Unders in Organic Cotton for the past few months and they are the absolute best.

Hanna trainers look great and the patterns and colors are appealing to parents and kids. They come in white too, but Lei picks the gender-obvious patterned ones first, every time.

I found these great little pants online after receiving a Hanna gift certificate. I stocked up on training pants because Hanna was the only company I could find that made trainers small enough for a 12 month-old. They come in packs of three. $26 for solids and $28 for patterns.

The weave is denser than the other trainers we've tried They're more absorbent, a little sturdier and easier for little hands to pull up. Plus, they're organic cotton and incredibly soft. These adorable underpants are worth every penny.

This product review conforms to the Fuss Formula.

Training Day

The thought of having newborn and toddler girls in diapers simultaneously freaks me out. With Leighton, we used Fuzzibunz until we were done nursing and then decided that Huggies Little Movers were the best-fitting disposables. This has worked just fine.

At our 18-month visit, Dr. Li said that it's time to ditch the diapers and potty train for real. It stands to reason - we've been flirting with potty training for months now.

We know all about the potty. Read books about the potty. Are very interested in the potty. We even call potty. Well, we effectively did this for a while and then decided that we will call potty so that we can take off our diaper and pee on the floor, then put a clean diaper on so we can poop. Lovely.

Be "we" I am certainly referring to Leighton, although I feel responsible for the latest goat-like behavior. I am the mommy, after all. And, if my precocious tot is aware enough to accomplish the aforementioned potty-related tricks, then she surely possesses the ability to become fully potty-trained soon. The "goat" routine appeals to me about as much as disposable diapers do.

How and at what age parents decide to potty train involves a number of factors including: 1) How well the child can communicate bodily sensations and functions; 2) The child's command of said sensations and functions; and 3) How committed the parents are to the training.

The third factor I enumerated above creates some controversey so let me clarify by saying that I am not judging anyone for not potty training an eighteen month-old. I merely think Leighton is fully capable of being trained.

However, I can't overlook the fact that the average age for potty training kids in the US has risen from 18 months to three years since the dawn of disposables. They're certainly more convenient than cloth and hunting around for a lavatory every forty minutes at the mall can be a chore. Let's face it, parent-convenience has always been at the core of potty training. Cloth diapers were a pain and parents trained toddlers so they wouldn't be forced to deal with the insideous task of washing them. Now, the opposite is true. Why wory about accidents and searching for a potty when dispoosables do the work? It's jus easier.

Still, the mere act of soiling oneself runs afoul of optimal behavior required to remain an elevated member of the animal kingdom, and we humans are supposedly the smartest of the lot. A toddler can consume (and eliminate) quite a bit of product in a relatively short period of time, making diapering at this age less attractive than running around the mall looking for a restroom.

Maybe it's us and maybe Freud was on to something. I was wearing underpants by 16 months and so was my husband. In fact, both grandmas say that one day, we were just "done". Hence, the thought of having Lei poop her pants for another eighteen months ... it simply cannot happen.

Lei is ready and so are we. We're doing this!

Wish us luck and stay tuned ...

Have any thoughts or tips on potty training? Good stories? Please post a comment and share your fuss with us.

Diaper Duty ... Doodie?

We are a cloth diapering crew. Sure, we have a stash of Swaddlers (we call them cheaters) to change it up every now and again. But 98% of the time, Leighton wears cloth diapers.

I knew I wanted to give cloth a try at some point, but not right out of the gate. We used Swaddlers for the first five weeks because we reasoned that infants rip through so many diapers that it would be tough for us brand newbie parents to manage a newborn cloth diaper rotation while taking the time to find a brand we like. I will tell you now that if we have another kiddo, he or she will be sporting cloth diapers immediately. It's just not that difficult.

We went the cloth route for a few reasons: 1) Cloth diapers are comfortable and cute; 2) Disposables work so freakishly well that kids can't seem to feel the wetness, which seems to make potty training more difficult; 3) Cloth diapers seem to be a better choice for the environment; and 4) As I've already made abundantly clear in other posts - I will try anything. Plus, Leighton is breast-fed exclusively and breast milk poop is water soluble, hence making washing poopy diapers as easy as tinkle diapers.

Anyhoo, the point of my lengthy exposition is that I read an article today that left me wondering where real people weigh in on the debate of cloth versus disposable. The piece, entitled Solving Your Diaper Dilemma, Cloth vs. disposable: It's the great diaper debate, but is one type of diaper really better for baby and the environment? Experts weigh in was posted on WebMD and sponsored by Huggies®. The gist of the article is that "expert" findings are inconclusive as to whether cloth diapers are actually better for babies or the environment. The author, Katherine Kam, seems to suggest that using disposable diapers is normal and the only two reasons one may wish to deviate from this norm is because one believes that cloth is better for the environment or because one believes that disposable diapers are bad for baby's skin. I've already listed cuteness, comfort and ease of potty training as three other reasons not mentioned in by Miss Katherine.

In The Diaper Debate: Are Disposables as Green as Cloth? A 2005 study by a London-based Environmental Agency looks at diapering from a strict question of "green-ness" and concludes that the environmental impact of cloth and disposable diapers is not the same. However, the study focuses on stale research and a heavy reliance on terry cloth diapering (which takes more water to wash and energy to dry) as well as diaper services, which very few people use anymore.

At the time this article was written, it was estimated that 18 billion diapers made their way to landfills each year and that with any type of diaper, "For one child, over two-and-a-half years, these [environmental] impacts are roughly comparable with driving a car between 1,300 and 2,200 miles."

You'll be hard-pressed to convince me that laundering twenty-four Fuzzi Bunz® three times in my own washing machine (we do not use a diaper service) leaves a bigger carbon footprint than sending 56-80 plastic-wrapped waste balls to a landfill each week. Luckily, no one needs to. I've stated my reasons for trying cloth and I've had a positive experience.

I stand by my potty training reason for using cloth. The prevalence of disposable diapers in the US has pushed the average potty training age from 18 months in the 60's to roughly 3 years today. In countries where access to disposable diapers is limited, the average age for potty training is roughly 12 months. It seems as though the answer to the environmental impact conundrum is to potty train our kids as quickly as possible because we know it can be done. My husband and I were both fully potty trained by 18 months and we are dedicated to working toward the same result with Leighton. That should cut Leighton's car-driving equivalency by half.

So back to my initial point, I would like to field opinions not sponsored by Huggies®. Please respond with comments to this post directly. Do you use cloth or disposable? Which is conceivably worse for environment in your opinion? What brands do you use? Is Jen out of her mind?

What the Fuss? BabyLegs

BabyLegs are legwarmers for babies and kids - handy little items I wish I would have invented. They come in a multitude of designs and colors to match (or deliberately mismatch) just about every outfit.

These comfy fashion accessories are easy to put on and particularly useful because we keep our air conditioning jacked up in the summer and BabyLegs protect Leighton's mini shanks from the chill without interfering with diaper changes. Plus, she wears cloth diapers and pants don't always fit quite right over her somewhat poofy little bum.

The Academy and Popsicle designs are easy favorites. We also have Organic and Supersoft, which are longer so they don't quite fit yet. The newest style Cool! is made from 50+ UPF breathable mesh for summer. We haven't tried them yet, but I suspect a pair will make it's way into my cart soon.

As per usual, I bought them off of the official website, but you can get them lots of places now. Target has My First BabyLegs too for little babies. For some reason, these are not on the official website. At $12/pair for the standard and $15/pair for the supersoft the price point is a bit high.  But BabyLegs are well-made and I think they're so cute, I seem to have no problem spending the money.

This product review conforms to the Fuss Formula.

Thoroughly tested and gleefully approved by Miss Leighton Elizabeth.