
This is the face of a child who just decided that she is NOT going to use the potty and is telling me all about it. I took a series of these shots - some of her stomping, some with her lying on the floor like a noodle and some of her spitting in her tent to get her point across.
I'm sure she'll find it as amusing as I do ... someday.
Leighton has used the potty periodically since the age of one - mostly upon waking and before going to bed. She would lean toward obstinate when we would discuss wearing big girl pants full-time, so we backed off when it seemed we pushed too much.
In the days leading up to her second birthday, we talked about how we'd wake up on that birthday, say goodbye to diapers and wear fabulous underpants forever more.
"Deal," she said.
Lei's actual birthday was the tuesday after her big party. I was exhausted and it was the second day of the week-long spring break that nearly killed me. I had two kids by myself, all day, every day, for the first time.
Sidebar: Some people are cut out for this job and are just fine, all by themselves, with multiple kids. However, I have a two year-old that has had constant stimulation, nannies, school, grandmas, grandpas, cousins, aunties and the like, so that Ryan and I would have a fresh bundle of attention to bestow upon her when we finished our work days. Leighton is super fun, but she's also the proverbial handful.
Sidebar 2: Leighton is obsessed with babies and likewise, her sister. She wants to hold her, carry her, rock her, squeeze her cheeks, cover her face with blankets and pull her upright by her limbs. You can't leave the two alone for a minute or two - even to pee.
Sidebar 3: If I have yet to earn your sympathy, please let me remind you of my exhausting party prep for sunday and the acute sinus infection I was suffering from.
Despite the foregoing, I learned never to change things up on my child at the last second. I was determined to proceed with potty training. Fresh from the dryer, we pulled out twelve pairs of training pants (the cute Hannahs with patterns on them), several pair of Babylegs and a waterproof FuzziBunz cloth for nap time.
We talked about who wears diapers and who doesn't and how equally empowering and comfy it is to be diaper-free. The first potty of the day was a success, as usual. It happened on the big potty upstairs on the little seat that nests inside of the bigger seat. Easy peasy.
For the rest of the day, we set up camp (literally - there was a tent involved) in the family room with our Fisher Price singing potty and Baby Bjorn Little Potty for backup. I mentally noted that I would ask Lei to try the potty after 25 minutes or so and go from there. The very first time I asked if she had to go, she told me she neither wanted to use the potty nor would she use it today. Then she shot me a look as if to say, please don't make me try this or I will punish you.
When I reminded her of the deal we'd made and the birthday and underpants and babylegs and empowerment of the whole situation, she looked me dead in the face and said, "Tomorrow. I'll go on the potty tomorrow."
I stood firm. And, she sat firm. She sat on the potty on and off for three and a half hours without peeing. She can hold it like no one I've ever met. When she did get up, she walked around with her legs half-crossed, in obvious discomfort.
I didn't know how else to get the ball rolling, so I did what I always do with her when locked in a desperate parent-child power struggle. I cry.
I told her, "Mama really wants you to be a comfortable, happy and independent little girl. And, it makes me sad that you won't do it because you're mad at me."
She cupped my right cheek with her little hand, cocked her head to the side, furrowed her brown and said "Don't cry, Mama. It's going to be okay." And then her potty sang and sang and sang.
Unfortunately, that's the last time I heard that tune. She intentionally peed her pants for the rest of the day. The day before, my mom put her in the corner for ten seconds until she apologized for being too rough with Little Sis. She very quickly claimed the power of that corner because every time she peed, she'd watch it run down her leg to the carpet, say "Sorry Mama" and go stand in the corner, as if to say, I don't much care for your rules or requests. Rather than honor them, I prefer to stand in the corner or throw a tantrum.
At one point, I was so frustrated, I told her, "I don't care if you wear baby pants for the rest of your life. You can go to college in them and get married in them for all I care." The ridiculum I can spew forth when frustrated by a toddler is amazing.
I taped a giant size 5 on her little butt and threw in the towel. I put the potties on the other side of the baby gate so she could see them, but made it clear that they were off limits. At that moment, I decided that I would make her beg to use the potty before school let out for the summer.
She wondered a few times that day "Where is the potty? Can I use the big potty." Even for the few days after, I turned her down. I reminded her that it's an all-or-nothing decision at this point. I told her, "I'm sure you'll let me know when you're ready. Deal?"
We shook on it. "Deal," she agreed.